May 31st

Saturday was such a beautiful day. It was more amazing than i could have even imagined. i got to the Temple bright and early at 7:30. i had a few minutes to sit outside and soak it all in before my mom met me there. we went in and it was amazing. i just wanted to look around and take everything in. i didn't see a few people come in that i was expecting to be there and was kind of disappointed, but i had to remind myself that that wasn't why i was there and soon i was concentrating on other things anyways. there were a couple of moments for me that i had a hard time with. i was sitting by a girl getting her endowments because she's getting married next week and i suddenly found myself really sad. i guess i am just starting to get a little bit lonely. there was another part later on when certain promises were made that i just got so overwhelmed by, that i was literally sobbing, i haven't cried like that in a long time. when i got to the part where i could be with my family and friends it felt so good, and someone that i was hoping would be there and hadn't seen come in was actually there and really made my day nearly perfect. anyways it was obviously very beautiful and i am so glad that i made the decision to go. it was a little weird because it seemed like such an unattainable goal for so long and now i've done it, of course with a lot of help from other people some of whom didn't even know they were helping me.

ps: also of importance i filed my divorce papers may 22nd, and i got a phone call from josh today saying he was picking them up. he has 30 days from today to respond. i will keep you updated on how things go. please keep us in your prayers that things will go well, that whatever is best for the girls will happen, and that if it isn't what i want or think is best i will be able to accept and understand it.